The Date That Led To Our Dynamic Journey

The story of our first date is kind of a humorous one. My planning and execution were rather poor, but the outcome could not have been better. When we met in college during the summer of 1995, finding our soul mate was the furthest thing from our minds. Colleen was on the tail end of her college career preparing for the working world, and my career was starting to take shape. Allen Saunders said: “Life is what happens when youre busy making other plans.”

Planning My Approach

I was drawn to Colleen on the first day of class. I cannot recall why I was drawn to her at first, but it probably was not her stylish dress. She worked on the landscaping crew for the university during the summer and would come to class right out of the flower bed, dirt and all. She was a worker and down to earth, literally (ba da bum!). Maybe that was the appeal? It took me weeks to drum up the courage to ask her out on a date. I was far too shy to walk up and talk to her.

We sat at tables, each with two seats. I observed Colleen for a few days and noticed that she sat at the same table every day. Shortly thereafter, I conveniently found myself sitting at her table each day before she arrived. I’m not sure what I first said to her, but It was probably something clever like, “You’re in summer school, huh”? I was about as smooth as 40 grit sandpaper. Young people today might say I had no game. It’s a good thing I wasn’t a “gamer” because Colleen would have seen right through that. It didn’t take game to interest her, but authenticity.

Poor Planning

Our class was starting to draw to a close, so I had to make a move. After class one day, I drummed up the courage to ask her on a date. During the mid-’90s, The Offspring was a popular band. They had an upcoming concert in Milwaukee. For those not familiar, The Offspring is a pop-punk rock band. Someone a little more sophisticated than me might have done a little mining for what music she liked before asking her to a concert. Well, I’m not that sophisticated, nor was I much of a planner back then. I was a fly-by-the-seat of your pants kind of guy. I did not have the foresight to check if tickets were available.

A Lie To Start Things Off

With my heart racing and palms sweating, I said “I have two tickets The Offspring Show coming up. Would you like to go with me?” I remember her lack of enthusiasm when she said “sure.” She might have displayed more emotion if I asked if she wanted cheese on her burger? My self-confidence was not bolstered with this interaction, but a yes was a yes. I was thrilled and in fear. I was thrilled she said yes, but in fear that the show was sold out since I already told her I had tickets. If you read books regarding lasting love, you probably won’t find advice on starting a relationship with a lie.

During the mid-’90s, we had to buy concert tickets over the phone or direct from a Ticket Master office. The concert was that coming weekend, so there wasn’t time to have tickets mailed. The nearest office was 20 miles away. I frantically drove, praying they would have tickets. If tickets were sold out, my shot would have been blown. God knew I needed Colleen in my life and cut me a break on that day. I bought our tickets and drove home on Cloud 9.

Awkwardness Plays To My Advantage

Our first awkward moment was when the opening band, The Lunachicks, took the stage. The band came out wearing plastic nurses’ uniforms. We looked at each other, not knowing what to think. When the music started, so did the mosh pit. I didn’t know Colleen very well, but I was pretty sure that moshing was not her thing. We migrated to the back of the ballroom, giving me the prime opportunity to protect her from this unruly crowd. She seemed to like it when I drew her closer to me. The barrier that Colleen had up to this point just vanished. A concert is not a great place to get to know someone, so after the show, we stopped for ice cream. Our conversation was effortless. We just clicked with each other.

I was Putty In Her Hands

We spent much of our free time together over the next few weeks. Colleen did not wear her heart on her sleeve, which was challenging since I lacked the emotional maturity to deal with uncertainty. Colleen was getting ready to fly out to see her brother graduate from Marine basic training. I drove to see her the day before she left. We sat on her couch and talked about where our relationship stood. I asked her, “What are your thoughts about us”? She replied, “You will have to guess what I am thinking.” As I drove home, I was confused and frustrated. I did not receive the confirmation I was seeking. My first thought was, “This woman is crazy”! In reality, she drew me in even more. I was smitten. If she asked me to push a marble to Chicago with my nose to date her, I probably would have done it. Never had I dated a woman like this. It would take a long time before I realized how special she was.

Little did we know our first date was the beginning of a dynamic and rich journey that continues today. We have learned to remain open-minded because life will happen despite our plans.